Quiet Power

It may appear to be innocuos

It may appear to be innocuous


About two months ago, I had a conversation with someone about whether The Don beats Melania. It’s undoubted that he abuses her psychologically and financially. Sexual exploitation, manipulation, isolation, he probably uses all of those tools and a few more.

My conversation partner expressed very similar insights as Matt Bai. They also offered that Melania has much more power than we suspect because she is the one holding the golden nuts in the tightly clenched palm of her hand. And she has in all likelihood told Mr. Wonderfully Almighty that he’d better not make her angry or she’ll tell the world what he really is.

My conversation partner speculated that Melania, unlike her predecessors, holds a lot of financial power over the Golden Haired Marvel as well as some other tools that can be used at the moment she decides (not someone else) that enough is enough. [Consider how many photo ops have caught her brushing his anxious, PR-sucking grasp in an effort to give the appearance of domestic bliss.]

To those who have endured domestic abuse and violence, take a lesson from FLOTUS. Figure out where you hold the power and then hold it as a guillotine over your abuser’s head. This advice also applies to those who are enduring abuse at work, school, or even some type of eleemosynary organization.

Say “NO” in as many ways as it can be communicated but with tact, grace, intelligence, and confidence – those things your abuser lacks.

Resources:

Also of Interest:

Just Say “No”

There are times when it becomes so easy to swallow the social acid of society’s platitudes and sophisms. The logic sounds so valid that it’s only natural to follow the line of reasoning. Just like a ball of string, it just keeps winding onto itself. But if put to the test, it would fall apart like a watermelon dropped from four feet in the air onto concrete.

Church

Some people go to church. They are certain that the fact of their following that ritual has saved them from going to Hell. They are much more righteous than others. Besides that, they are ever so anxious to do Christian acts toward those who are so pitiful and needy – people in need and not at all like the pious ones. When the pitifuls come to the sacred doors in order to become one with the congregation, they are treated with various forms of politeness only to be sent on their way. There is no invitation to return and become part of the congregation. Why? Because they are merely the ones whose existence and bedraggled state provides a reason for bestowing gifts of food, used clothing, temporary shelter because without the generous donations, these pathetics could not do anything for their own selves. The visitors are a reason for feeling superior to someone else. And besides that, they simply don’t belong in the same company as the congregants. Unfortunately, the congregation is oblivious to their hypocrisy.

Protection from Violence

When one who has been beaten (like the traveler on the road to Damascus) and calls for assistance to escape the dangerous environs, it would be expected that there’s comprehension that wounds make the victim less able to care for their own self. But if the one who is called for help doesn’t comprehend the dynamic, they will rise to superficial gestures of accommodation such as taking the victim to a food pantry. But they simply do not comprehend that the victim’s life is at risk. The sacrifice of time that could have been devoted to going to the gym has far more value and they are not hesitant to express their dissatisfaction with the waste of their time and preferred activities.

Likewise, police will sometimes show up for a domestic violence call. But if it is not a matter of “intimate partners” and the perpetrator files a false cross report, the victim will no longer get protection nor assistance in escaping the environment. The false report(s) will follow them.

Brainwashing

One of the tools of the abuser is creating fear in the mind of their target. It can be fear of failure, fear of loss, or whatever is meaningful and will spell a setback if it comes to fruition.

This is also a tool of de facto racism. Keep the minority marginalized through lack of access, poor or no education, persuading them that they are not qualified or that their input is lacking (if not useless) and not worth being explored. Another aspect of racism is finding reasons to reject input from the minority with objections of one type or another. Meanwhile, alternatives to the already offered information or ideas are developed in the background, then published as the new agenda. There have been no objections to the agenda put forth because few to none were aware of them.

Yet counter statements to observations about the backwater actions deny the repression of the original contributions and denial of participation of the entire group. Everything is fine; everyone is making valid (and validated) contributions.

Evidence of Negative Intent

Sometimes those who bar the door of opportunity in order to create a class of disenfranchised unwittingly expose their folly. They will express their desire to exclude to another. Many times the speaker has some instrument of power – a title, money, status or position, influence over others with absolute power – that causes them to wield their scepter with integrity.

Historic Ways to Overcome the Bar

There are many instances in history when these various forms of repression have been handled through alternative avenues. Some have been breakaway organizations. The difficulty is that those fledgling organizations start off on skimpy budgets of finance and available talent. Sophistication about various types of markets and networking are also challenges. These can result in diminished expectation and poor brand identity. It takes a lot to move forward with low credibility. Still, it’s necessary to realize that Life is about growth, not remaining stagnant. So one important step is to face the challenges, learn as much as possible, develop good alliances, and see each obstacle as an opportunity to either succeed or learn a new way to address opening the locked door.

The Manifesto

All of these situations converge onto our lives and build to an explosive averment that begins to sound like a manifesto. However, the manifesto may be the answer to rejecting the unacceptable.

I no longer . . .

I no longer . . .

by Jose Micard Teixeira

Sponsored Resources:

Hello My Beautiful Friend

It was an innocent message intended to stay in touch with an online friend. It was a youthful communication with the goal of networking and gaining support. The simple, single sentence that arrived in my Inbox on February 3, 2010 at 5:07 AM PST said, “Hello my beautiful friend how is your life and your family last week i had fiver i was sick but my God heeled me.”

The author of the message is 23 and lives in Uganda. It is safe to say he does not receive a lot of mail on the social networking site we frequent. It is a certainty that he did not expect the response he received on February 3, 2010 at 6:10 AM PST.

I am fighting discrimination and abuse in the new setting where I live. Although their purported mission is to provide assistance for those who have health challenges and a healthy, safe environment for those who are retired, they do just the opposite for me.

I am finding myself threatened with expulsion and reprimands for striving to make a life here. I am subjected to petty gossip at each meal or else a constant drone of complaints about poor health and what the speaker can no longer do.

Even though I suppress my education and background, I find myself excluded and spoken to as a child. Even though I do things to create a better environment and enrichment for the community while also not proclaiming that I was the source of the benefit, I find I am usually excluded from what I developed and reviled for having sought to partake of it. If it is something I endeavored to do for myself while holding it available for the rest and it fails, there is still notification and counsel to them that the goal is still doable at a later date when there can be more planning. The result is that the idea is developed and set up as an activity but I am excluded from learning about it and therefore being able to participate.

The support staff has the impression they can treat me with disrespect and disdain.

All of these things wear on my health and make me not interested in continuing the work that I am supposed to be doing. I become depressed. These things also pull on my energy making me less able to produce true and realizable results that I can claim as my work in order to further my own goals because it looks like I’ve been idle or just can’t measure up.

It appears, in this highly White and Latino community, that I am a civil rights leader because at this time I am the only Black woman (who is actually multi-racial) here.

Please tell your neighbors and friends of the life here in the United States so that they will not live under the dilusion that things are good. We still suffer discrimination nearly as bad as before our civil rights movement that began in the 1950s. It just permeates itself in a more pernicious manner.

Viva

In all likelihood, this youth is merely a young Ugandan who is striving to make a meaningful life for himself. He writes to a woman in the United States who appears to have strength and wisdom. He probably wants to communicate in order to build his skills in English and share some of his victories with a friendly person. The innocent probably never suspected he would receive such a bomb of information as that dispensed to him this morning.

Now the pregnant question is Will he carry the message and wisdom to his fellow Ugandans and other connections on the Internet? Will he learn and benefit from the news from the Land of the Free in sunny California?

It is my desire that millions learn the truth and act to stomp out the hate and disservice that discrimination and abuse cause in every way.